Listen to the episode here.

This week’s Unhinged History features two women with outrageous stories.

Angie kicks things off with the story of Elizabeth Bathory, you know, the Blood Countess. She’s rumored to have murdered over 600 virgins to bathe in their blood in hopes of maintaining her youth and beauty. But what if all of that was created by the men in her life who owed her money? Angie pulls back the rumors and shares what we know and can prove about this infamous killer.

In a delightfully unhinged pivot, Theresa shares the tale of Elvira de la Fuente Chaudoir. This Peruvian/French socialite turned double-agent spied for MI5 and convinced the Nazis move their troops away from Normandy, setting up success for the D-Day invasion. Her antics are legendary. You can hear Theresa on the edge of laughter the entire episode.

This episode pairs well with:
Sack of Rome
Mehmed II
Pope Pius II / Vlad Tepes
Another WWII Spy Toto Koopman

Transcript

Theresa: Hi, and welcome to the Unhinged History Podcast. The podcasts were two compulsive nutjobs are going to study history, verbally assault the other one with random factoids that we’ve only recently learned while fighting cats in our laps. Why literally? I’m host one. I’ve got a feral and that is host two. 

Angie: I’m Angie. What’s the cat in your lap’s name? Mystery. Because he’s a feral. 

Theresa: Because he’s, oh, this is legit the bathroom feral cat? Yeah, the bathroom feral cat that is still rehabbing in the office. I love that. Yeah. 

Angie: Um, mine is not mine is not a feral. He’s a gentleman of leisure. His name is Jack and he just heard me say his name. So he’s like, why are you saying my name? 

Theresa: I’m literally right here. I’m not going anywhere, mother. 

Angie: Ma’am, I am fully encased in your arms and my claws are in your thigh. Do I feel like I’m going anywhere? Oh, sweetness. I wish you could hear him purring. He’s so hippie. 

Theresa: I’m glad I cannot hear him purring because I would be editing that out and cursing you every step of the way. 

Angie: Well, but it’s yours up the game. 

Theresa: Your turn to go first. I get to sit, rest on my laurels. 

Angie: Okay, I am not, I’m not minimizing my screen yet because I just want to see your face big when I tell you how shocked I am. Neither of us have done this story yet. Okay. Are you ready? I am going to tell you the story of Elizabeth Bathory. 

Theresa: Yeah. Yeah. No, this makes sense as to why you would wonder why, because I have gone on a couple of, you know, oh, the patriarchy did her dirty. 

Angie: I was like, I don’t even remember. Ian and I were chatting about something. I don’t remember what it was. And she came up in the conversation and he literally stopped and was like, babe, neither of you have ever done this story. And so he immediately downloaded me a couple books and I immediately went to reading and actually got to read her letters. 

It’s like super cool. So I’m going to tell you her story and that said, my caveat is that I have two caveats. Her story, you know, when you’ve done in the past, like you’ve done the story of Pocahontas and you’ve done the story of Milan where you have, and Maria Laveau, you have this iconic figure whose whole story is a lie. Yeah. Right? 

Yeah. That’s where I was going with this. I was like, I cannot wait to bring her the story of Elizabeth Bathory and be like, this is the story, blah, blah, blah. 

Okay, actually, the button, this is really what happened. Her lore is so mixed in with her truth that I don’t think we will ever know the whole truth. So I’m going to do my best to tell you the lore and the truth and what we think actually happened. 

Theresa: Okay, you know what? I’m here for this. This, this makes sense. The tree archie. 

Angie: Let me, let me get my notes. And also my other caveat, because I just realized I didn’t tell you the other one, is some of these name places and just like people names are so hard to say that I am just going to preemptively ask for forgiveness because I know I’m going to mess something up. 

Theresa: Okay, so you say that. I don’t know when the last time you looked at the specific reviews we have on Apple. No, it’s been a minute. I was looking and I was like, huh, wow, we have some that I haven’t seen before. And one of them was podcast is great except for how they butcher the names of places in upstate New York. 

Angie: And I’m like, in upstate New York, that’s our own country. But you know what? Are you saying it with the wrong dialect? 

Theresa: I think, I think there’s just certain regional words that are pronounced differently than how we would think to say them. But you know what? Native, native peoples, they tend to give names to local places. Right. 

Right. So I think the tribes that gave many names to places in New York are ones that we are not familiar with. And so when we look at a name we come up with, well, this seems like the best way to say it. And we are so far off the mark, I guess. 

Angie: My name is Pym, but we spell it Dorell. 

Theresa: I have a feeling it’s more like how if you are in, gosh, I can’t think of a good one. 

Angie: I can’t think of a good one. No, I can’t get what you’re saying. Like location, locally, this is how it’s pronounced and this is the correct way to pronounce it. But if you’re not from that region, you’re never going to know how to pronounce it right. Like, okay. Oh, no. 

Theresa: In Portland, there is a suburb. It is spelled Aloha. Oh, I’ve seen this. Okay. Okay. It is pronounced Aloha. 

Speaker 4: Why did you say Aloha then? 

Theresa: From your lips to God’s ears. But if somebody goes, yeah, I have to go out to Aloha to go to a Starbucks there to meet a friend or what’s going to be like, God, tourist. 

Angie: You are not a local. 

Theresa: And it’s just like, let me guess, you don’t know that it’s pronounced Kooch Street. Okay. To be fair, it’s written couch. 

Angie: I remember reading about Norfolk, Virginia, N-O-R-F-O-L-K and finding out that there’s a very real, very local belief that the way you pronounce it is Nofuck. And I’m like, okay. 

Theresa: As in I have no fucks to give here? 

Angie: That’s how I heard it. Maybe I’m, I have one of those weird hearing things like it’s either Yanni or Irene or whatever, that sort of thing. Right. But that’s how I heard it. So I was like, okay. So all that saying, y’all, please bear with me. There’s some hard names in here. My sources are the, excuse me, I didn’t actually write this one. 

Speaker 5: I, my sources are, I have some. 

Angie: I didn’t write the author’s name down. A paper from the Illinois State University called No Blood in the Water, The Legal and Gender Conspiracies Against Countess Elizabeth Bathory in Historical Context. This is a master’s thesis from 2014 by one Rachel Lee Bledzoff. History.com, which by the way was devastatingly inaccurate. An article about it. 

Theresa: So I’m glad we’re quoting the inaccurate. Huh? You said it’s devastatingly inaccurate. And I’m like, well, I’m glad they’re a source. 

Angie: Anyhow, go on. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I’m just being frank. A BBC article called Cambridge University Academic’s Quest to Clear Elizabeth Bathory’s name. The article is written by Lawrence Colley. It’s from May of 24. And I’m going to reference this doctor a lot at the end, but her name, I’m just going to try to say it right now. I’ve never seen this before in my life and I’m absolutely mesmerized by it. Anachika Bailey, A-N-N-O-U-C-H-K-A. 

Theresa: Anachika. And if that is your name that has been butchered in a Starbucks-like fashion, please write in with the correct way to say it. We would love that. Thank you so much. 

Angie: Thankfully, her last name is Bailey and I can pronounce that. There is a biography, like biographics.org has a biography on her. And then the book, The Private Letters of Countess, A Residant Battery, by Kimberly L. Kraft from 2011. And she, I’m really into this book. She has another book called Infamous Lady. I haven’t read that one yet, but she, I’m going to, she wrote this book as a collection of the countess’s private letters and like some responses back, but I think there was only like a couple. And it sort of gives a great outline of her life. And I’m really clear, concise way, but also explains to the best of her ability, the letters, because obviously they are written in 17th century Hungarian. And there’s a lot of cultural differences. 

Theresa: You don’t have a fresh understanding of 17th century Hungarian. Sorry, Mary. Not this week. You had time to study for this. All right. 

Angie: You know, I did. And here’s the thing. I spent that whole time making a murder board in my kitchen. So here we go. Yelling things across the house and my husband about it. So just bear with me while I tell you the story as we all know it. Also, so apparently, I don’t know if you knew this. Her name is not pronounced a bathry like we’ve been pronouncing it. 

Apparently it’s historically pronounced that re. Okay. All right. 

Which is weird, but I have a very hard time making that with my face. Anyway, so that said, our girl was born August 7th, 1560. She is born into Protestant nobility in Hungary, right? Her family is this extraordinarily, extraordinarily powerful family. Like they control Transylvania powerful. Yeah. Like, right? Okay. Not only that, but her uncle Esteban or Stephen is the king of Poland. So what would have Transylvania going from Esteban to Stephen Esteban? 

Theresa: I know, but to Stephen. 

Angie: I know, right? I hate it. I hate it for him. Keep keep the exotic sounding one. 

Theresa: Yeah. I mean, I sweep you off your feet. The other does your taxes. 

Angie: Okay. Honestly, what you see is picture. I’m like, yeah, if you do taxes. All right. So Stephen, it is that is hilarious that you would say that. He, so he’s the king of Poland. He’s also the void of Transylvania and the Grand Duke of Lithuania. So like just in him alone, she’s got a pretty powerful family member here, right? Not not only her own like immediate family, but this is like her extended family is massively powerful in 1574. She’s like 14. She becomes now mind you, this is the this is the article that’s got this story of her life. She becomes a gauge to a count. 

There Nick, not as day. And this is sort of this political arrangement within, you know, this aristocratic circles. May 8th, 1575, the two are married. His gift to her is the Castle Castile. And it’s situated in the little Carpathians, Carpathians, Carpathians in Slovakia between Hungary and the Ottoman Turks, which I think is fantastic because I really feel like it really sets the scene to know you’ve got all this going on politically. Oh, yeah. 

It’s like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. So she has this castle enormous wealth and pretty much nobody to answer to 1578 and she’s 14. Yeah. Three years into their marriage, he becomes the chief commander of the Hungarian troops and he leads them to war against the Ottomans. Meanwhile, our girl, she’s staying home and managing business affairs and like the family’s multiple estates because he has gone all the time. So this is like run in the show. 

Theresa: And she’s just barely figuring out how to do her own menstruation cycle. Dude. 

Angie: Yeah. Like I was just gonna say, she’s just figuring out how to do her own taxes. Sis, I don’t even know how to do my own taxes. I have somebody for that. She has a statement for that. She does. 

So in their within the first 10 years of their marriage, she has four children and by all accounts was considered both beautiful and highly intelligent. Then things take a very dark turn. Bathory’s torture includes jamming pins and needles under the fingernails of her servant’s girls. 

Theresa: Now, wait, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. We missed a very key transition sentence. 

Angie: Things take a turn. She gets into some torture. I’m giving you the roundabout real quick. I’ll give you the in-depth in just a second. 

Theresa: All right. I mean, I’m just like you just said, hey, and then things got dark. 

Speaker 5: She’s beautiful and into a cave. Yeah. 

Angie: You’re getting your fingernails jammed with pins and she’s tying them down. She’s smearing them with honey. She is leaving them to be attacked by ants and bees. She would often bite chunks of flesh from her victims. And according to history.com, one of her victims was even forced to cook and eat her own flesh. Wow. That’s how the story goes. 

Local pastures, pastors, not pastures, local grass fields, growing increasingly suspicious as Elizabeth more frequently asks them to come to the castle to perform funeral rites for certain girls who had apparently died of cholera. So that’s on the list. That’s on the bingo card. One priest called her aside after attending one too many funerals and confronted her. Elizabeth was outraged. She threatened him with her powerful relatives and storms out. Now. About the most. I’m 

Theresa: going to introduce you to my tax auditor, Steven, and he’s going to make you rule the day. 

Angie: Rule the day. Exactly. About the most famous part of her legend, I think would be the blood bath. And the most widespread of the beliefs is that she had blood drained from virgins and would bathe in it to pursue, preserve her youthful beauty. 

Not one of the servants girls who testified against Bathory mentioned anything to do with the blood bath. So like, let’s just start that there. Okay. Yeah. 

Okay. Since her family, they headed the local government. Bathory’s crimes are largely ignored until about 1610 when King Matthias finally intervenes because Bathory has begun finding victims among the daughters of local nobles. As long as she’s killing peasant girls, nobody really bats an eye too much. But the moment she starts getting with the nobility, people start having a problem, which is checks. 

Theresa: Yes. Not in my backyard kind of deal. Right. 

Angie: An investigation is ordered and after taking all sorts of witness statements from people near her estate, it’s determined that Bathory had tortured and killed more than 600 girls with the assistance of her servants. Assistance of her servants. On December 30th, 1609, her servants are arrested. In January, 1611, Bathory and her 1611, not 1611. 

Theresa: Is it weird that I didn’t even question that? 

Angie: I’m going to go back and listen. Check to see how it said it wrong. The first time, I’m sure I did. Bathory and her cohorts are put on trial for at least 80 counts of murder. All are convicted, but only Bathory escapes execution due to her noble status. Instead, she is confined to a room in the castle that only has slips for air and food. And she stays in this walled up room for the next four years until she dies in 1614. 

Theresa: Okay, but wait a minute. Wait a minute. There’s slips for air and food. Yeah. How did Eskermit get out? I don’t know. I didn’t ask. 

Angie: So here’s part of the problem. Some sources suggest that maybe her rooms were bigger than that, and maybe she wasn’t entirely unattended to. But for the most part, all the sources say that she is basically walled up in her room. 

And there’s just a flip big enough to push the food through. So unfortunately, I don’t think we will ever know the exact spot she was imprisoned in the castle. Or at least what it looked like at that time. You know what I mean? Fair. So this is at least like this very quick summary is at least how the story has been told for like the last 400 years. But that’s not entirely true. 

So let’s go back and set the state a little bit because it makes a whole lot more sense. It is 1514 and there has been a bit of a peasant revolt. Like life already is not easy for the commoners living in this area. For example, the average person living in Europe in the 16th and 17th centuries, they’re dealing with a time that is surrounded by things like war, famine, disease. There is unbelievable inflation. And during Bathory’s time, the price of grain alone would rise 170%. Oh, yeah. Meat is at 110%. 

Theresa: So it’s cheaper to get steak than bread? 

Angie: It seems that way, but either way, it’s the inflation is off the charts no matter what you’re trying to buy. And on top of this, the nobles themselves are being taxed to hell and back. Like ridiculously. And unlike other European countries of the time, military protection and like support services, things like hospitals, universities, libraries, churches, things like that, those would have all been provided by the crown. 

But not hungry. These services are provided by the nobles for the people living in their area. So not only are they being taxed to hell and back, they are also having to provide all these everyday like necessity services for the people living in their area. And there’s all sorts of religious turmoil as well. Like for context, Martin Luther pens his 95 thesis to the door in 1517. Gotcha. 

Okay. So the world is closing in and it is chaos at its best. Now back to hungry in 1514, things get a lot worse when this man called Gregori Dosa leads his peasants revolt. His men are raiding villages and they are looting the churches and they are killing the priests as well as some lesser nobles. You would think that if you are a peasant and you are throwing a peasant revolt, you would not be trying to traumatize the locals who you would want on your side, but they are. 

And regardless, this makes life harder for everyone. Shocking, I know. And in short order, they find themselves on the battlefield facing some really pissed off senior nobility. Surprise, surprise. 

Shocking, I know, right? Dosa, the leader of this very failed revolution, is captured and killed. I have to tell you his very gnarly death because when I learned it, I immediately screamed at it again. This involves a potentially smoldering throne, a red hot iron crown, and being devoured alive by his followers who are clearly under duress and then what’s left of the misquartered. 

Oh, yeah. And the fallout for your everyday peasantry is monumental. Like either way, your average Joe cannot get a break because if he’s not being taxed by the nobles who are also being taxed by the crown, they’re having to deal with their own circle of people fighting them in the streets because rebellion is rebellion and we just want to loot and steal stuff. 

So like life sucks. As a result, there’s this of this failed rebellion, there’s this decline. Cree, and I hope I can pronounce this right because it’s entirely in Latin, called the Tripartium Jurius Constitunarii Hungary of 1514. And basically it states that the peasantry would quote, forever be chained to the land as lifelong slaves and all of their descendants would be enslaved as well. 

Something to look forward to. Yeah, not only that, but they are now also forced to pay a tithe. They can no longer have firearms and they must work 50 days a year of unpaid labor. So like once a week, maybe they’re putting in a paid, unpaid day. But don’t worry, this excludes Christmas and Easter. 

Theresa: Good, thanks. You know, I was worried. 

Angie: Because we can’t even, we can’t even afford a Christmas dinner, but okay. They are also not allowed to travel without permission and they could be both judged and condemned to death by their local lords. This system would remain in place for almost 350 years. Now, back up a second. 

Theresa: It’s like 1848. They’re going to be judged by their lords. It took me a second to realize more than how I would use the word today. Like when I look at my dog, I’d be like, don’t judge me as it watches me eat food out of the pan. 

Angie: Yeah, no judge, like Judge Jerry Executioner, they get to play, the Lord and Lady of the Area get to play that role. And like I said, this system, it sits there until like 1848. Like it’s a long minute that this is sort of the feudal system that they’re living under. 

Not only that, but because all of that’s not bad enough, if they even wanted to travel, like if they could, they’d probably be met by Turkish troops who are hanging out all over the place because of the Ottoman Wars. So that’s right. Okay. Yeah, you’re dealing with an existential threat and an internal threat. Like you, no matter what you do, you’re kind of SOL. So there’s this threat of being taken hostage, raped, robbed or killed. And this problem exists whether you’re noble or not. So the nobility, if they’re traveling, they’re traveling with well-armed escorts. And also, there’s a very real possibility that it’s not the Turks you’re meeting on the road, but your own countrymen. 

Theresa: Gotcha. And they’re already poised to do these things. So you’re just the crime of opportunity. Yeah. 

Angie: So this is the world that, this is born into in 1560. To say that it’s a bit violent, I think is an understatement. And I think in her time, nobles, they’re still holding the reins hard on everything because this rebellion is still really fresh in their minds. And their thought process is if we hold the reins as high as we possibly can, it creates stability and potentially like sort of evens out food problems. 

Because if we keep the peasantry busy working all the time, they’re producing food, they’re busy, we’re occupied, nobody’s going to revolt. That’s at least, I think, what the idea is. This is how we dig our way out. 

Yes. So like I said, this is what she’s born into. She, as I mentioned earlier, she’s born into two parts of the same Uber powerful family. Her father, Gregory, he’s from the Eskid branch and her mother, Anne. She is from the older Somoloside. 

And this is probably why according to Biography.com, she suffers from like severe seizures. Oh, good. And some other like rage incidences. And they’re thinking that this is possibly the whole inbreeding thing, like they’re cousins of the same. Yeah. 

And they have been for centuries, right? She does in fact have several siblings though, potentially up to four, but the records on that are lost and a bit confused. So it’s not really clear. But to say that her immediate family is super powerful, their, her birthplace, which is Nyrobator, if I’m pronouncing that right. You probably are. 

Probably not. This has been the family seat and has been owned by them since at least the 1200s. Now our girl for her part, and I’m very excited to say this, receives a phenomenal education in the classics, mathematics. She could read and write Hungarian, Latin, Greek, German and Slovak, which was what her servants would have spoken. So she’s brilliant. 

And it also, some of the writing state that her, the way she wrote implies someone who had been trained in both composition and logic, which I think is really interesting. She is a tomboy through and through and she demands to be treated as well as the males in her family. She can fence and she can ride. Oh, she’s well-rounded. 

Yeah. She’s, she’s doing her thing. Biographics.org says that at 10, she was seen laughing at a man who was being sewn into the body of a horse. His crime was theft. 

Theresa: Of that horse? Because why? I have additional questions. I do too. 

Angie: I do too. That’s gnarly way to have to pay for your crimes. Aside from that, she was raised as a Calvinist by her mother. Her family is part of, wait, her mother’s family is part. 

Theresa: She was raised as a Calvinist. So she saw that and went, this was preordained by God. 

Angie: That’s how I took it. I think their world was just so violent that it would not have mattered what religious leanings you had, what you saw, what you were raised in, was how it went and you just went to church on Sunday. Okay. 

Theresa: Okay. I think if you were going to, let’s assume all of the stories, all of the myth, all of the lies, whatever are true. What a religion if you are a psychopath, to be Calvinist, be like, not only am I going to be monstrous, but this has been ordained by God and this is terrible. I’m supposed to be. Yeah. 

Angie: Wild, right? Okay. Carry on. Yeah. Now her mother’s family, they’re part of the first group of those who would offer support to the Protestant Reformation like in the area of Hungary, which I find super interesting that we would even know that information, but I think that’s really cool. And it is also worth noting that several of her very powerful relatives are Catholic. 

This is going to matter later. According to author Elizabeth Kraft in her book, she writes that quote, Elizabeth, that’s how she says her name. Elizabeth’s uncle Estevan or Stephen, the accountant, king of Poland, was a practicing Roman Catholic and her uncle, Andres, was a Catholic cardinal who on several occasions served as the emissary to the Pope. So her life’s got to be really interesting when you think about the world at this time and religious leanings, not just the military situation, but like half her family’s Catholic and half her family’s Protestant. 

And for the most part, for quite some time, things go well, which, okay, that’s cool for a little bit, I guess. Our girl, she would marry a Lutheran and then her children would be raised in that fashion. So that sort of makes sense to me to be Lutheran and like the Calvinist ideas. 

I think those two sort of line up a lot better than other options. She becomes engaged to her future husband by 11 years old. And now typically at this time, she would have been placed in his estate. So she could learn how that estate would be run. Like that sort of makes sense, but it’s also devastating to me. Like she is 11. Let her be 11 for a little bit longer. 

Theresa: To play with dolls and love horses and still needs mom. 

Angie: Like that. Yeah. Anyway, so it’s like 1572 when she moves into the home of her man. He is the 16 year old count. 

Theresa: 11 and 16. That I feel like it makes that age gap makes sense when you’re 16. 

Angie: Yeah. Thankfully, that’s not when they marry though. So like that makes me feel a little bit better. So like I mentioned earlier, her, her man, he’s a military man through and through. 

He would lead the armies of the Holy Roman Empire as well as the Royal Hungarian against the Ottomans. And the first rumor to squash is that in a lot of her stories, they say she had this really tumultuous relationship with her mother-in-law. However, she died before our girl ever arrived at the estate. So that that already doesn’t really check out. Maybe. 

Theresa: And it depends if your husband’s like, well, my mother’s meatloaf tasted like this. 

Angie: He, I guess that’s true, but she’s 11. She’s not making meatloaf. I mean, maybe she could be. I was not making meatloaf at 11, but anyway, 

Angie: moving on, here’s where the next part of her legend sort of kicks in. Her and the young count are married about 1574. They have this grand ceremony and she is given a castle as a wedding gift. And supposedly this is very much an allegedly she has an affair with this young peasant and becomes pregnant. She is able to secretly give the baby away because please do remember her husband is always out on military like he is rarely home. So according to the story, she is able to secretly give the baby away, but eventually her husband finds out and he finds the peasant has him castrated and then fed to the dogs. It’s not clear if that part is true or it’s just been added to the story, but additionally to that part of the story, they say this is the moment where she sort of gets her blood lust. Like she was cool with that happening. 

She was like, Hey, can I watch? Yeah. Now it is worth noting that the author of the book that I read mentions in there that mental illness runs in her family, you know, from all the inbreeding on both sides. Yeah, but also a lot of the supposed insanity were things like temper tantrums, sword play inside, having a quote, unusual allegiance to a favorite chair. And honest to God, I have an unusual allegiance to a favorite chair. So whatever. Yeah, true. But anyway, true. Right. 

Theresa: And these are all inside. I think this is what happens when you’re a child and you have access to sorts. 

Angie: Yeah, I was literally the next sentence says these are all typical of the eccentricities of the wealthy anyways. And I’m like, yo, we sort fight inside. Like I have teenage boys. We have light sabers. There are full on duals in my living room. 

Right. So I guess I’m a medieval wealthy eccentric living my best life with my unusual allegiance to my favorite chair. Like yeah, mental illness be damned. Anyway, I took that to heart when I read that. Now with that with all of that in mind, there’s belief that though her husband is gone most of the time, he sort of really leans into this whole torture thing. 

And he showers her with gifts, including clawed gloves so she could scratch her maid’s face when they don’t do what she likes. Okay, I’m not so. Yeah, I’m not sure I’m super by that, but okay. 

Theresa: I mean, that sounds like something a 13 year old boy with makeup to scare another kid. 

Angie: It really a lot of this sounds like that, if I’m going to be honest. Um, for record keeping sake, I am just going to tell you really quick that by mid 1596, her and her husband have had at least four kids. There’s that. 

Like they seem to have some sort of amicable, really good relationship and he does shower her with gifts and they seem to have a warm, um, rapport with each other when he’s home. Sure. Right. Okay. But then keep things moving along a bit. 

In 1601, a Croatian woman called Anna Darvoja has moved in and she becomes one of our girls confidence, confidence, but the rumor mill starts circulating and people say she’s a witch and she runs this torture execution game and she’s the Croatian or Elizabeth, the Croatian, but like this is all done with the, um, full knowledge of the Lord and Lady of the house. Now the count, he sort of puts the kibosh on all the charges and like has it, you know, swept under the rug to leave it alone. And then he just has the good sense to die because I’m opting out. Like it’s, I’m done. And you would think like he’s done the, he’s done the kiboshing. 

He’s put everything away. Like this should be gold. It doesn’t. And the accusations, they continue and they continue to get worse. In 1605, Bathory has this sort of weird assortment of these intimate servants that are like her close, um, they travel with her everywhere. They’re like her retinue, you know, like they’re her ladies. 

Sure. She’s got this Anna woman who I mentioned, three other older ladies who by the way, older in this sense means like late thirties, early forties, so R.H. And I’m like, excuse me, I’m not old, but whatever. 

Theresa: Oh no, no, I’m a crown. Let Angie tell you she’s not old. Like I’m embracing it. I do needlework. I’ll wear a shawl. 

Angie: Okay. I’ll wear a shawl, but I don’t, I don’t need to work. Most of the time just never learned. But anyways, she’s got these three older ladies, this Anna woman. And then this young man. Now, according to the book I read, these characters act as like the chief executioners and torturers for Bathory. Now, I mentioned it 1605, but it should be said that by 1591, so over 10 years before, all these secret burials start taking place. And this happens because a local clergy member demands to see the dead bodies before they’re buried to confirm that it is just disease that takes these serving girls lives. 

So Bathory is not about, it’s not about this. So she just starts having people buried in secret. That’s sort of what the records show. According to witness accounts and these, these confidant accounts on their own trial, they comment saying that the bulk of those that are killed are girls between the ages of 10 and 14. And they also testify that Bathory is in on all of it and would find new and terrible ways to torture them, including biting chunks of their flesh, even from her sick, sick bed. 

Or by sticking the needles under the fingernails. So here’s where I was like, when I was reading this, my first thought was, I don’t buy any of these murders. I sort of think she was just needed, they needed to get her out of the way. And so they’re going to discredit her as best they can. However, when I hear that the priest starts demanding to see bodies now, I do have questions about that. Like that leaves me to think that maybe she didn’t commit all 600 murders, but she certainly committed something. 

Theresa: And maybe the priest just was like saying that. Is the priest telling the truth? Like, do we know that? Did the priest say that 30 years later? Or was he saying that when it was happening? 

Angie: So I’ll get into that a little bit later because you bring up a really, really good point. So it’s also worth saying that the bloodbath never happened though. That was a bit that was added to her story over 100 years after her death. Plus the math doesn’t math. Do you know how many bodies it takes to take a bloodbath in a regular size bathtub? 

Theresa: Honestly, I can’t say I’ve done it recently, so my count’s going to be off. 11. 11. 11. Hold on, I got to go get rid of a Costco order that’s coming in tomorrow. 11. So that was only like 50 something baths? 

Angie: I think if you’re going by the numbers, they suggest tops 65 baths. Tops, like probably closer to 60. And so I’m like, yo, I’m not trying to take a bloodbath. That’s a whole lot of people that have to drain. I’m going to lose my entire workforce. 

Theresa: And they’re going to be so cold by the time you get in there. Like that is at best, it’s going to be 98 degrees at best. 

Angie: Also, Korean skincare, sis. Just go buy some. 

Theresa: But anyway, just stay out of the sun. Part one, drink water. Part two, moisturize. 

Angie: So to say that life is starting to suck for everyone in their inner circles. Yeah, for some years now, the Catholics have been moving in and there’s this need to remove the Protestants from like everywhere and it is starting to weigh down. Despite this, Bathory, who is a Calvinist swears her fealty to the king through and through. And also, may I mentioned earlier, the crown is broke, the novice will broke, the present, the peasants are broke and the crown owes the Bathory estate, specifically her husband, a boatload of money. 

Theresa: So wouldn’t it be convenient if everybody we owe money to kicks the bucket? 

Angie: Just exactly. And I’ll get into that in a minute too. Now, since her war hero husband’s death, our girl has lost sway over the church, the king, the emperor. So this is problematic, but she no longer has like that manly hero that has done all the good in her corner. But despite this, she plays her role at court beautifully. Like she is always playing the grand lady demanding respect and that the crown pay her back. Like when her husband dies, she immediately starts writing and like, hey, where’s my money? You owe the Bathory estate however many bazillions of dollars. 

Theresa: Right. So she’s doing the FU painting move. Right. 

Angie: But at home, she is far more unhinged and no longer cares about keeping up appearances and likely did indulge in lashing out towards her servants. 

Theresa: I mean, now, eventually, they don’t have Netflix and she’s got to get a bunch of anger out. Therapy is probably not on her table. Probably not. 

Angie: Eventually, a secret inquest is ordered by the king and the staff would later say that she kills upwards of 200 people. The legend says over 600. For the sake of time, I’ll just say there is an inquest and she and her people on December 29th, the 1610 are arrested. Supposedly, there is a letter written by the man who arrested her who was formally a very close family friend, but he also works for the king. 

So he sort of has to do his job. Anyway, in this letter, he tells his wife that he opened the door to find dead and dying girls everywhere suffering and in various states of torture and that they would later, like that evening, find further bodies deeper into the castle. Additionally, 30 townsfolk arrive and they see it. 

Now, here’s the thing. There are several times that it’s documented that there were rumors that while like traveling back and forth from court or if she didn’t get her way with the other nobles that these young girls would die and they would just disappear. These rumors start as early as 1591 with these whole secret burials and several of her serving girls do like die of disease and are buried quickly and quietly in the churchyard, but that doesn’t account for like all these other rumors. Her staff that’s been arrested with her will either die in prison or be executed. 

She would be sentenced to life in prison with no public trial after basically begging for a chance to testify for her own innocence. And also, the king says her name can never be spoken of again. She dies just over three years later on August 21st, 1614 after telling the attendant that she was dealing with really poor circulation and her hands were freezing. The attendant tells her just go lay down. She’ll be fine in the morning. 

She never wakes up. So, all that said, we have some recent academic research that’s been done into whether or not she actually killed all these individuals just as a whole, like whether or not her story has any like truth to it. And this research has spanned over the last two decades or so and it paints a rather different picture. 

Some are of the statements are really hard to corroborate with any of the sources, but that doesn’t really mean a ton when you consider how much of her story is lore and how much of her story may have been truth. And also, like I said, I can’t read 17th century Hungarian. So, here we go. 

Yeah, you’re expected to translate her. Yeah, the gist is from Dr. Bailey Cambridge. She has this theory and she is deep into it. She believes that all these accusations are totally bunk, but rather she was a book smuggling religious radical feminist. And this coupled with her being a widowed rich lady and at one time a very powerful woman leads to this witch hunt. 

Because let’s remember she’s Protestant and the king and all the other people in power are Catholic and also they owe her like a load of money and also the Protestant Reformation and all of that going on. Now, I love this so much. I’m just going to state this before I finish this as a side note. She swore in all of her letters that she was bending the knee to the king the whole time. Like he was her guy, she was super loyal to him. 

But there is some pretty clear evidence that later in her life she was going to switch sides to this rebellion leader who was more than happy to try to take the king’s seat, if you know what I mean. Okay, okay. So this researcher, Dr. Bailey argues that the, so just keep that in your noodle mugging, argues that the 650 victims that have been attributed to Bathory were actually disposed noble women from the region, young, unmarried and vulnerable, you know, due to these ongoing wars that had killed many of the men in their communities. 

Sure. Rather than victimizing these women, these women, Dr. Bailey suggests that Bathory may have actually been trying to help them by establishing a school to teach them like things like literacy and offering them sanctuary. During the later investigation into Bathory, only one body was found in her castle, though multiple coffins were reportedly seen leaving the grounds, which Dr. Bailey speculates may have been used to covertly transport the women elsewhere. Further supporting her theory, Bathory is documented to have had a printing press at Lonefrog Castle, and after her husband’s death spent the modern equivalent of 26 million pounds on Venetian clothing. A mount that she suspects is far too large for personal use, but rather suggests some sort of commercial enterprise. She concludes that rather than being murdered, these women may have been quietly relocated into Bathory’s various European business ventures, essentially escaping this war-torn region through the accountants’ network. But for me, I think the printing press matters here. 

I can’t speak to how I don’t, I can’t speak to these women like I don’t know where they went. It certainly wasn’t 650. If that was the case, our girl would have been very busy for her lifetime. She’d been very youthful. 

Very youthful. However, if this has a printing press, and at the end of her life said she was swapping sides and she is smuggling coffins out, what about sedition and treason? 

Theresa: I feel like you would just go with that. You would just, like, why call her a crazy witch when you could just be like, traitor-ish? She’s a traitor! Right? 

Angie: So my thought on this is if she’s a traitor, you can now brand the whole family as a traitor. 

Theresa: And seize all of their lands immediately. Immediately. 

Angie: And also that would negate your debt to them as well. But here’s the thing. Her son is alive. And by the time she’s taken into prison, he’s 11. So he hasn’t reached his majority, which is 14 when he can fully take over on his own. 

Right. However, at 11, he can start running business. So even if, and this is what I find to be so contradictory about her story, even if the crown was trying to do her in because of the money issue, her son could have counted for it too. And they did nothing with him. He was never a problem with them. 

Theresa: Probably because they thought he was going to be easier to control. 

Angie: Obviously, because he’s 11, right? Which begs the question, what did she actually do? And if she was a traitor, why not just mark her as a traitor? Why mark her as a witch? Or as a vampire? 

Or as this evil serial killer who does nothing but torture these young girls and drain their blood for beauty bath? Like, none of it makes sense. And unfortunately, we can’t find the rest of the Bathory Letters. Because time has eaten them. Either time has eaten them or they have been removed. 

So the gist is this. There’s an archive that houses the 40 or so letters that we have. They’re not even part of the Bathory Archive. They’re part of her family friends’ archive. 

The Bathory Archive doesn’t exist. And they know she wrote tons and tons and tons of letters. And we cannot find any of them. So I’m really curious to see if when we do find them, if we do find them, if that’ll lead more light to the story of what actually happened. 

But in the meantime, we’re stuck wondering what happened to our girl and if she actually committed all the murders. So I do not know, but it was definitely not 650. At the most, it was 80. I don’t even think it was that many. I think they just need to get rid of this powerful widow. 

Theresa: That’s kind of where I had landed when I had done not near as deep dive of a search on my own. 

Angie: I have been driving Ian crazy by screaming facts across the house at him. Did you know? 

Speaker 5: And he’s like, oh my God, no I didn’t. Thank you so much. I was trying to poop. Thanks. 

Angie: Oh my God, you’re in here again. I thought I locked that door. I found the key. You did not take it with you. I made my way in. So yeah, that’s my story. I hope you loved it as much as I did. And I will be assessing over for the foreseeable future. 

Theresa: I adore this. I adore this a lot. I’m going to take a very sharp turn into recent affairs. I’m going to dive firmly into a comfort spot for me. And once the story really takes off, you’re going to go, she did it again. She did it again. She has all her legs. She has all her legs. 

Speaker 4: All her hands? Yes. Eyes? Yes. 

Theresa: We’re not missing body parts. Just hear me out. Hear me out. Okay. I’m giving a massive hat tip to Sean Tui from LinkedIn because he came in clutch by suggesting the story as hair-brained as it is. I’m going to tell you El Vira de la Fuente Shador. Okay, let’s go. Okay. My source is the National Archives. The double agent who hid D-Day from the Nazis. 

Theresa: Can I mean about my comfort spot? 

Angie: Hey, man, you’re just spies, mind soldiers. We got our comfort, our emotional support story. 

Theresa: Yeah. Yeah. Latino life, the danger of being underestimated at the Peruvian double agent who is key to the D-Day victory, making queer history. They did an article on her. And then a podcast, the Mamosa Sisterhood. They have one about Virginia Hall and this woman as well. It’s called the Mamosa Sisterhood? The Mamosa Sisterhood. Love this. 

Okay. So El Vira, she’s born in 1911 and her British Secret Service file is held at the National Archives. It doesn’t reveal where she’s born, but it does say that she’s the daughter of a wealthy Peruvian diplomat. She’s raised in Paris. She can speak English, French, and Spanish fluently. We know word on mom. Head. I know. I’m just like… 

Angie: She had a mother. I saw that about somebody recently. I can’t remember who. Oh. No, go on. It was… Sorry, I was going to make a talkie about Bel Green. Yeah. And I was like, she had a mother. We’re not talking about her. We’re talking about her dad. 

Theresa: But anyhow, 23. El Vira, she marries a Belgian baker named Jean, Jean. Jean. 

Speaker 5: Jean. Yeah, stuff like that. Chador. Chadiogh. Jean Bejon. But soon, she finds life in Brussels exceedingly dull and she has nothing in common with this man. So she runs off to Cannes with her best friend, Romy Gilles. 

Theresa: And they spent too much of their time, right? So her and Romy, they head off to Cannes and they’re gambling and socializing. 

Theresa: Good for them. And she’s taken both men and women to bed. Good for her. So the Latino Life article says on the surface, Elvira was a woman who loved parties and favored the companionship of women who may not be careful of their virginity. Which is a quote. 

Speaker 5: Okay. And to be fair, I think, Boo, you only need to be careful about your virginity to a point. 

Speaker 5: And then after you get care of it- It was like one time. 

Theresa: Then there’s no need to be careful anymore. You’ve already totaled it, the vehicle. You might as well just continue driving recklessly. Breaks be damned. Go. Anyhow. Now, she is notorious for being a beautiful good time girl who loved the spotlight. 

Angie: Same girl. 

Theresa: Now, Germany invaded France in 1940 and these two, they are still living it up. Okay. 

Angie: Okay. I’m sure I have to learn that Germany invaded France in 1940. 

Theresa: Yeah, I know. Like, spoiler. Now, meanwhile, they’re driving an open top Renault to St. Malo before taking a boat to England. Okay. Elvira, she’s racked up some serious gambling debts and so in London, she does the thing where she tries to seek employment at the BBC in London. 

Oh. And somehow or another, they figure out that she parties too much and they refuse to hire her. I don’t know if she showed up hungover in a party dress in one heel, but it comes out. 

Angie: He’s got her. Yeah, okay. 

Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, cigarette hanging out of the mouth. I’m saying she used Jack Daniels for perfume. Yeah. 

Theresa: So she ends up taking up translation work and this is probably even more boring than her husband that she’s left. Okay. And she’s hating this and she doesn’t cover this up. Matter of fact, she’s overheard complaining of her financial woes by an unassuming RAF officer. 

I already know where this is going. Now, this officer recognizing that her friends are in high circles, she’s got some clear intelligence. They recommended her to Mr. Claude Dancy, who is the Chief Assistant of MI6. I love everything. 

And the pair meet at the Connott Hotel where Dancy offers Elvira employment as a British secret agent. That’s so cool. This is why this is what I’ve always hoped would happen when I’m complaining in public. This never has happened. Mm hmm. 

Yes. But this is why I will continue to complain loud and proud because one day. Now, she’s recruited primarily because of Peruvian passport. Okay. And her dad being the diplomat, this gives her the perfect cover so she can travel with impunity. 

Speaker 5: Yeah, dad’s a diplomat. I didn’t travel with my daddy. 

Theresa: She’s also dead broke and MI6 used this as an asset. 

Speaker 5: Oh yeah, you need finances. Yeah. 

Theresa: I’m going to wave this check over your head until you do what I say. Yeah, okay, let’s go. So Dancy suggested that she let herself be recruited by Germans so she could provide false intelligence to them on behalf of MI6. Two page X. I mean, this gets better and better. So she’s taught how to use invisible ink and send hidden reports in these innocuous letters that she’s writing. And her first code name is Cyril, which doesn’t seem exciting to me. A little bit boring. 

Yeah. Now, the idea was to coat trail, that is to hover around French bars in hopes of running into a German spy who might seek to employ her, thus becoming a double agent. So what I want to have happen once, she needs to have happened twice. She needs to be in the right place at the right time to get recruited. 

Angie: Who was it that got caught writing a letter in French? Oh gosh. 

Theresa: I mean, I feel like it was Odette Sampson’s dude, her second husband, who ends up doing something wrong in a French cafe. 

Angie: But somebody else was writing a letter in French. She was the one that got, she had dinner, she had dinner as like as a diplomat or something like that. I 

Theresa: know, I know, I know. It was, it was, it was one of the pretty ones. It was, hold on, hold on, hold on, this is going to drive me nuts though. 

You’re welcome. She was one of the culturally ambiguous people. She was the one who grew up in Java or no, born in Java, moved to Brussels. What is her name? 

Angie: I’m just picturing like she, she did exactly that only she was arrested for it. 

Theresa: I don’t like this. I don’t know what to, I don’t, I’m just going to keep scrolling because it had to be before. 

Angie: It was a while ago. Yeah. Toto. 

Speaker 5: Was it Toto Kutman? Toto Kutman. 

Angie: Ha, ha. Sorry about that guys. I needed to know. 

Theresa: No, you needed to know because I would have kept spinning. Okay. So, Argyr Olivaire needs to get recruited twice. Now, okay, so diplomatic passport. She can travel wherever the hell she wants to with ease and her parents are residing in Vichy, France. So this makes convenient excuse for her to come and go between France and Britain. Because I gotta go visit, visit my daddy. 

Yeah. Daddy, daddy needs to give me some more money so that I can continue my lavish lifestyle. Now, the MI6 file, which is KV2-2098, they have this compelling narrative of Elvira’s coat trailing and adventure in Kansas. So August 1942, she runs into an old friend, Henry Chauvel. 

He’s a prisoner of war turn collaborationist. He refers her to a German friend and says, basically, you two gotta meet. And she takes the offer gladly. So there’s a little bit of flirtation and this mysterious German takes Elvira to quote the most expensive black market restaurant. 

Angie: Love this. What kind of post can we get there? 

Theresa: I mean, it’s probably the same stuff you would have gotten pre-war. No, yes, that’s true. 

Angie: It’s not going to be artisanal cheese. 

Theresa: It’s just like, hey, we’ve got the stuff that you would have had a week ago. Now, she describes this man very affectionately with good manners and enjoying everything like a child, even if he had a bit of a drink problem. 

Angie: Okay. I mean, she has a bit of a gambling problem. 

Theresa: Child life. Child life. Excitedness. I like that mindset, even if he’s in his cups. And she notices with sympathy that the man’s fear of quote looking German and occupied France that would lead him to see. Yeah. So she, the fear is that this is going to be dangerous for him to be identified by the resistance and how he’s quite pleased when she said he did not. So she found a fear, poked it a couple of times, maybe a little bit of nagging and then reassured him. Okay. That’s how I read it. Now, having gotten to know one another, he reveals his name, Bibi. B-I-B-I. Bibi. 

Speaker 4: Love it. Okay. Okay, Bibi, let’s go. 

Theresa: In reality, this man is Helmut Bliel. And this is a semi official. I would also go by Bibi. Because Bliel. Yeah. I’m out. And Helmut. 

Angie: There’s a Siegel name Helmut that I’m quite partial to on the internet. Haven’t seen him in years, but he got me through COVID. Godspeed Helmut. 

Theresa: Now, the, this semi official German intelligence officer, he’s part of the Abwehr. Now he is personally appointed by Herman Göring. So not Herman. 

Angie: Göring is the art guy, right? It doesn’t matter. 

Theresa: Carry on. I can’t. Yeah, but he has, eight off Hitler’s second command. Of course, boiling down to now. Nevertheless, this, this doesn’t threaten her in the least. She is just like, all right, Bibi, here we go. You don’t, you don’t look German to me. 

Angie: Now they have perfectly French darling. Yeah. 

Theresa: They have a couple of nights together. They’re frequency casinos there and the beaches of Eden Rock con. Now, Bleel says he has to see her again. If not for wonderful parties than to quote, do some business together. Now, when he says this, her ears prick up because this is, this is what she’s here for. 

On this deserted waterfront, they talk until three in the morning. Wow. Okay. So they’re having a great time and he expresses that he had acted on intuition and just felt that he could trust her and that if she failed him, it would quote, ruin his whole career. Okay. 

Dang bro. So she got him wrapped around her little finger within just three nights and there’s a little bit of a pang of guilt that she feels when she swear secrecy to him saying that she would never tell a soul of their conversation. 

Angie: And then immediately writes it all down and says it back to MI6. Yeah. 

Theresa: Now, okay, I don’t, okay, I do write this in my notes later, so I’m going to keep that to myself. She said, I felt rather sorry for him and frankly almost wished I had kept out of all this, but bucked myself up thinking once you start doing a job, you must do it fully and shut all softness away. 

Okay. So she screwed her courage to the sticking place and just kept going. Now, Bleel gives her at least a female code name. She’s Dorrette. 

Much cuter. And she arranged, and he arranges for her to receive 100 pounds a month and he’s disguised this as alimony payments. Okay. Now, he gives her a bottle of invisible ink, which she was to use in letters to Chevelle, who would pass them on to Bleel. Now, okay, she refused to tell anything that could harm the British, saying that she’s only going to send economic information. And she feels they feel the deal. They retreat to Bleel’s hotel room for a lesson in her most vital skill, letter writing and secret ink, which she’s already attained by MI6. 

Angie: The mimosa. I really thought her best skill was going to be something else. 

Theresa: Yeah, it was going to be her honeypot. That’s what I thought we were doing. She’s fair. She’s rather practiced in the arts against people who don’t safeguard their virginity to their utmost. 

Angie: You did mention that. So that’s where I thought we were going. 

Theresa: I have a feeling Bleel’s not exactly trying to save his virginity. 

Angie: I love Gossip that we have no business in. It makes me so happy. 

Theresa: Now, going back to the secret ink, the mimosa sisterhood podcast, they shared that at least during this time, one of the secret inks was writing in urine, which apparently become visible in heat. So when she gets a bottle of secret ink, they’re not sure if he just gave her a bottle of piss. Gross. Okay. 

Angie: But I’d feel like, I mean, scientifically, I need to know now. 

Theresa: But it’s like also, hey, this letter smells like urine. Oh, it’s secret. It holds it over a fire. Gross. Okay. Did the cat spray the mail bag? What happened? Yeah. So either way, Elvira, she heads back to England. She reports to MI6. They debrief her and they hand her off to MI5 to be put to use as a double agent. Now, MI5, they registered concern. This is the most British phrase right there with her lesbian tendencies. 

Angie: That’s stupid. I’m sorry. That is the most British thing anybody’s ever said. I’d like to register my concern. I’d like to register my pregnancy tendencies. 

Theresa: It’s been registered, but has it been notified? We need the notary here. Have we signed it in triplicate? 

Angie: Thank you. I was trying to remember the word and I was like, nope, it’s not what I think it is. Triplicate. That was the word I was looking for. There you go. 

Theresa: Now, they’re unable to confirm Bleel’s relationship with the German government. And many members see that her being a lesbian is easy blackmail material. Oh, okay. That’s all to me what it comes down to. But in the end, she’s accepted, even if it’s just cautiously. 

Angie: Even if she’s a lesbian, that’s wild. Good for her. I mean, I bet she owns a pair of pants too. 

Theresa: More than one. They may not all be hers though. Good for her. Now, she’s seen as a quote frivolous spin-thrift socialite with a colorful sex life. And the MI5 investigation concludes quote, she is merely a member of the international smart gambling set. 

Angie: Can I be considered a spin-thrift, colorful socialite? 

Theresa: What was it saying? Socialite with a colorful sex life. 

Angie: Can I be considered that though I’m happily married with only one partner? I would like to say that I am all of those things. 

Theresa: I would need to have a different income bracket to be a frivolous spin-thrift socialite. That’s true. Damn it. And I think with a different tax bracket, I could, even with one partner, be seen as having a colorful sex life. 

But it would be rather exotic in the things that would hit the papers. I love this for you. Good for you. You too can make your contributions to my account. My then though is. 

Angie: Yeah. Okay. She would have loved only fans. 

Theresa: Goodness, yes. So October 28th, 1942, she’s formally invited to join the 20 committee. And this is a play on the Roman numerals XX for Double Cross. So now she is the official double agent. And here’s where she gets the best nickname. She’s known as Agent Bronx. And this is after the War Time Bronx. 

Angie: Like Jenny from the Bronx? 

Theresa: Yes. But for her, Bronx is the wartime cocktail that she ordered when she met them. I love that even more. It’s because I figured you were going to ask and you haven’t yet. Two ounces Jen, quarter ounce dried vermouth, quarter ounce sweet vermouth, one ounce fresh orange juice, dash of orange bitters. 

Angie: I needed driver’s moose once and I could not find it anywhere and I will never get over it. So no, I’m not going to ask. You have to go to Bev Mo for that. Yeah, as I learned because nowhere in Tuami County could I find a driver’s moose. And finally I was like, oh Bev Mo, well I’m not driving to Modesto for this. 

Theresa: Yeah, you can tell that I’ve had to do that in your neck of the woods. And I knew where I needed to go to get the drinks and the pieces that I had. 

Speaker 5: I didn’t. Yeah. 

Theresa: My alcoholism shall no, no bounce. Now at first, Bronx, or Bronx, she goes on to send the basic information to the Germans. Some of it’s true, some of it’s false. And she’s detailing Britain’s industrial and economic affairs, as she said she would. One occasion she’s credited with preventing a chemical attack on London by alleging that the British had a chemical store themselves and they’re ready to use it in retaliation. 

Angie: Okay, I totally forgot the beginning of this story was something about D-Day and I’ve just been enjoying the socialite. 

Theresa: I mean, there’s a lot to enjoy there, so I’m here for it. Let’s go, sis. Alongside this, she would write, okay, so she’s a double agent working also for the Germans and she is publicly writing anti-German propaganda in newspapers like the Sunday Graphic. 

Angie: And we haven’t figured it out yet. Love this for her. 

Theresa: Not only is she doing that, she’s then writing these apologies to bleal in coded letters. Like, I know I railed against you guys. I’m so sorry. 

Angie: I’m so sorry. I love the rite, but 

Theresa: I wouldn’t pick up the Sunday Times because I kind of wrote something bad. Just kind of like redact that before you send that on to Berlin because it doesn’t say nice things. 

Angie: Is she doing it under a different name at least? 

Theresa: No, no, unadaptually. 

Angie: She’s going to be the only one that survives without having to go to Raven’s Brook and get her nails pulled out because she’s the one that’s just like, hey. Hey, loud, proud. I’m getting personality higher here. She’s a cultural add. I love her. Let’s go. 

Theresa: Now, one of her letters claimed that the British had made excellent preparations to defend against gas warfare. And so not only did they were going to see to spy like, not only were they stuck, probably to retaliate, but they’re like, hey, basically everyone’s prepared. Everyone’s got gas masks. You shouldn’t even try because we’ve all like, we’re all prepared for this. 

Angie: We’re leaving our house and our gas mask. 

Theresa: Yeah, like this is part of our bedtime routine. We brush our teeth, put our gas mask on, and then we’re just going to hitch back. So I wouldn’t do it. 

Angie: Churchill showed us. We got this. We’re fine. Yeah. 

Theresa: And so that like made me so happy. Now, German communications to Elvira indicated that they trusted her and her reliability as their agent and her MI5 handlers described the Peruvian as quote, probably one of our most reliable agents, unquote. 

Speaker 5: Our note is nobody reading the Sunday time. Oh my God. I love her. 

Theresa: Now, in deciphered most secret sources, she’s referred to as that reliable agent that they have full confidence in. And it’s in this detail that made her the ideal candidate for her most important mission yet. And that’s plan Ironside. So 1944, everyone’s preparing for D-Day. There is a lesser known operation plan in the works. And that’s Ironside, which I, you know, just alluded to. And this plan is to deceive the German army into expecting an attack in the wrong part of France. 

And Bronx is at the heart of it. Love this. Now, her usual form of communication was to send letters by post to Khan, but wartime post is notoriously slow. And shocking. Yeah. 

Surprise. Now, in the case of an imminent attack, Bronx was to send a telegram to the bank based in Lisbon using a simple code. And I want to know the code because she writes, urgently need 50 pounds to pay my dentist. And this translated to I am certain of an attack that will take place in the Bay of Biscay in two weeks. 

Angie: I’m going to run with urgently need 50 pounds to pay my dentist for the rest of any time that I need to make a code. 

Theresa: Yeah. I mean, truly this feel like any time you’re watching like an old Bugs Bunny cartoon and they’re in Japan and they have the character say something really short and then Bugs Bunny translates it to something much longer and more complex. 

Angie: Like five paragraphs long. 

Theresa: Yeah. That’s exactly what this feels like. Now that telegram was sent May 29, 1944, 10 days before the planned invasion on Normandy. Now, okay, in her craftiest move, she sent the telegram accompanied by a letter, which is going to be slow. And in the letter, she wrote that she had received the information of the attack by a drunken British diplomat. She alleges the man was quote so embarrassed by his behavior that he came to apologize to her the next morning. He stated the attack had been postponed by a month and not to repeat it to anyone. Of course, the letter because it’s delayed takes two weeks to get there. And so it’s well after the entire 11th Panzer Division has left has been left in Bordeaux on the Bay of Biscay awaiting the attack that’s never going to come. Okay, so just repeat that. 

Angie: She sends the telegram that’s like, you’ll Bay of Biscay meet me there and then sends a letter that’s like, the news came from a sort of drunk guy. Sorry. Yeah, but she sent that stale mail. And she sends that stale mail. So it arrives considerably after they’ve parked everybody down at the harbor hundreds of miles away. 

Theresa: So when the letter comes. I love that. They’re like, you fucked up. She just goes, did you see the postmark? I told you, I tried my best. It’s not my fault. You guys are delaying the mail. You could have sent a second telegram. I need 150 pounds to pay for the dentist. Yeah, okay. 

Angie: Now, I also have an eye appointment. 

Theresa: So she has these successes with her intelligence, but the British intelligence service, they don’t entirely trust her despite her being so reliable. Now they tend to tap her telephone calls and monitor her movements from her Mayfair flat. And they detail all of this and it’s prevalent in her file, which makes me want an entire copy. 

Angie: You know, dude, if I was followed, mine would say and went to 7-Eleven again. 

Theresa: And our girl just like convenience for sushi. I don’t know what it is about this untrustworthy to say the least, but she is having a great time. 

Angie: Like that is exactly what my file would say. That’s the 17th time this week. Yeah. She is eating her feelings. Don’t judge me. And they got good Twizzlers down at the 7-Eleven by my house. 

Theresa: You know what? 

Angie: Honestly, you know, he says, no, thank you. I’ve had my wax and take for the day. 

Theresa: Now the surveillance surprising no one revealed some interesting insights into her private life. Her handling officer, a man in Christopher Harmer, notes with subtle distaste that she lives with a man that’s not her husband. 

Speaker 5: What? Her boring banker husband from Brussels? 

Theresa: And I bet this man who’s not her husband is also not safeguarding his virginity. I bet he’s not even a man. Well, I mean, now she’s hosting frequent parties. She spends most nights playing poker and most interestingly is noted in having again lesbian tendencies. 

Speaker 5: Why did they care? 

Theresa: But okay, like here’s the thing. If she’s an unabashed lesbian, why does it matter that she’s living with a man that’s not her husband? She’s not into him. 

Angie: It’s a lavender marriage. He is paying her bills. 

Theresa: He knows how to grill meat and our girl does not want to die. 

Angie: He is also really great in interior design. Jokes on you, he’s gay too. 

Theresa: So you can open jars, he can hang shells. What more do you need? 

Angie: Thank you. And his trousers look great on me. Thank you so much. Yep. 

Theresa: Now Harmer later reports of all the cases they had to deal with. Bronx is the only one who told the entire truth about her recruitment and mission. So he’s bad-mouthing her every step of the way. He’s like, but she was honest the entire time. 

Angie: He’s a millionaire. I was like, I’m 100% that middle management guy that was ready to retire 10 years ago, but had to get the kid braces, so I’m still on. 

Theresa: Yeah, and I feel like, you know what? I got my mediocre wife to Ethel to agree to go on one date with me, and I dragged her into an entire marriage. And this girl just gets his pole and tail left and right. That’s a bitch. Love her. 

You asked her, takes over the case after Harman’s transferred, and he reports she was a British agent before she was ever recruited by the Germans and is probably one of our most reliable agents. So everybody’s saying the same thing. 

Angie: I love that. She’s a lesbian, but like she’s reliable. 

Theresa: Yeah, like she’s reliably going to give us intel and go after women. And intel. And women gossip. So maybe this is a win-win. 

Angie: Yeah, there you go. I’m here for it. 

Theresa: Through the end of the war, Agent Bronx would play a significant role searching through the German hierarchy to find who might sue for peace, which I like this, right? You know, let’s exploit the weak points. She sent away from England once again, and though it was clear that she’s in a lot more danger this time, there’s false information that she’s passed. And they’re aware that she could be questioned, and this presents a hell of a risk. 

Angie: So they pass her false information? 

Theresa: Well, because she’s passed false information. You know, remember the Bay of Biscay, I got to go see my dentist. Right. So now they’re like, meh. 

Speaker 5: So Germans like, come come. 

Theresa: So in Germany, they’re like, come come, we need to see you. And she kind of goes, okay, I’ll be right there. Pack in my bag. I’m shipping a couple ladies out of the apartment. Hold on. 

Give me a second. Now, before leaving, she ends up telling her handler that if anything happens to her that he was to tell Monica Sharif, the woman whom she started a relationship in England long before. Oh, okay. So she’s, she’s in a committed relationship. And still get entailed? Yes, and? I mean, I feel like she’s open. 

Speaker 5: It’s consistent, right? It’s committed and open. Yeah. Okay. 

Theresa: Now, because she’s traveling to Madrid to eat to meet with these German agents, she’s when she gets there, she’s not able to locate a single German spy, which is good news, bad news, right? So she does the best thing. She writes them a scathing letter complaining that she’d expected a bonus and she’s livid that no one’s there to meet her. Now, she does this despite the fact that she was likely summoned for interrogation and punishment. You didn’t show up? And she’s like, well, screw you. I was here five minutes early and in these heels with this humidity, do you see this hair? Instead, she, they give her an apology. 

Angie: Oh, man. I’m so sorry. 

Theresa: And then they ask her to use the telegram to the bank method again to let them know if there’s an invasion plan for Scandinavia or northern Germany. 

Angie: I love this. 

Theresa: Oh, sorry. We must have your 100% right. 

Angie: Oh my God, she’s playing my favorite role in the movie ever. I love those scenes in the movie where it’s like the discredited general walks in in his old uniform and everybody just bows to him because he talks starchy. But he hasn’t had a job in like six months. 

Theresa: I love those moments. 

Theresa: Love this. So once the war ends, she spends time shaping postwar Germany and then continues sending these telegrams. And though she had an opportunity to continue, she retires from the war. So she bows out, decides she’s going to go back to being the fun, happy, go lucky person that she is. Good for her. She’s quoted and saying, I recall the adventure as the most wonderful and intense periods of my life, which it could only hurt. 

Angie: Her and Carton’s Wyatt would have been good friends. My goodness. Yes. 

Theresa: So after the war, she’s now in her mid 30s. She’s left the world of intelligence. She’s retired from espionage. And she opted back for a quieter life in France on the French Riviera and she opened a gift shop in the picturesque city town of a word. I’m going to butcher. Beeloo, Sir, near. Just it’s south of France and she spends the rest of her life spending the rest of her inheritance. Now, years later, my five learns that our girl is a baroque. 

Angie: And the way she spent the rest of her inheritance, she wasn’t just having the gift shop. She was also playing poker in the back. 

Theresa: Right. Now, the head of my five Stella Rimmington, since her 5000 pounds in December of 1995. So 5000 pounds is $10,400 or 10,400 pounds in today’s money or just over $1,400. 

Angie: $1,400 for 5,000. Oh, sorry. $14,000. Yep. It says that you’re off. 

Theresa: Yeah. I’m a little bit off. Reading numbers. Your math is like your numbers right now, sis. You know what? I mean, the numbers, the numbers of the math were right. Reading out loud was wrong. 

Angie: Hey, you know what? At least you didn’t say 1600. 

Theresa: That’s true. Now, Stella Rimmington, who censors the money, says it’s a gift to remember her wartime services. She died a month later in January of 1996 at the age of 95. Presumably, she had blown through the entire $14,000 that she’d been given. 

Angie: She was alive in our lifetime. Yes. Ah! 

Theresa: Now, the woman who was thought of as a good time girl with no allegiance to anyone but herself was such a crucial fact or part of the Allied forces that she ends up being this incredibly hard worker that’s clever enough to deceive German intelligence. And she’s so good at disguising her lies as being frivolous and so much so that nobody considered that she’s playing them for a fool. 

Angie: I love her. I want to be her when I grow up. 

Theresa: My goodness, yes. I want to be her at 28. Yeah. Then, you know, like, and I’ll turn in some years now to be able to do that. And it just, there’s no better way to drive, or there’s no better way to understand her drive than to read her answer when she was first asked why she went to be a double agent. 

She replied that she had no such desire at all, although she would do it if it would be any use. Her files from MI5 were made public September 5th, 2005. Wow. And that’s the story of Elvira de Flutte Shador. 

Angie: Okay, this whole time I’m picturing someone, I don’t know why, that looks like Eva Mendes. I mean. I get it, sis. But like Eva Mendes in the 70s. 

Theresa: I didn’t include a photo of her. Let me, okay. Let me, this is her from the National Archives. Gorgeous. Yes. And so I think Eva Mendes could play her. Yeah. 

Angie: She has Eva Mendes’ eyebrows, or Eva Mendes has her eyebrows. She’s got her hair up, like, so okay, so it’s like a seabit on black and white type photo. Flala skin, holy cow. Perfect pointed nose, like the very hoity-toity nose. 

Yep. Perfectly manicured eyebrows. Her lips have got to be that victory red. She’s got the, the dark, she got dark eyes, her hair looks dark in the photo. She’s wearing some sort of business attire, and she is absolutely stunning. Who did her makeup that day? I do not know. 

Theresa: But I mean, we’ve got pictures of her older as well. 

Angie: She is stunning. Yeah. She’s amazing. Oh my God, I love her. Oh hey look, there’s Matahari. Yeah. 

Theresa: She was giving me Matahari early in the story. She’s giving very much Matahari. But yeah, that’s, that is an incredible story, and I have enjoyed reading about her shenanigans and her lesbian tendencies. 

Angie: They’re referred to as tendencies. Like, I may not be that way tomorrow, but right now, right now I am. 

Theresa: And I’d like to register my concern about that tendency. 

Angie: From this day forward, I will be telling you I’d like to register my concern for things. 

Theresa: And if you too like to register your concern. Right, right review. Yeah, and send this to somebody else who should notarize your concerns. 

Theresa: Yeah. And on that note, goodbye. Bye.